THE HOOTS PREDICT WWE EXTREME RULES
So it’s time for another WWE Pay Per View event, YAY!!! That was sarcasm if you’re not savvy in the intelligence department. I get excited about WWE PPVs for a different reason than your average mark, that reason being my delusional brethren, The Hoots.
Each PPV event we make predictions, competing for bragging rights and ultimate control of our exclusive chat. Just as possible new champions and new storylines will emerge from WWE Extreme Rules, a new Hoot may also rise to power come this Sunday. So let’s get it on like Awesome Kong!!!
Mixed Tag Match - Rich Swann & Sasha Banks vs. Noam Dar & Alicia Fox
Damn Sasha, you went from Main Eventing PPVs with Charlotte to being Homie Rich Swann’s back-up dancer?! I know this storyline well, as I watch more 205 Live than I do RAW, and it was passed it’s prime weeks ago, not sure how it landed on the main card. Probably because they needed something for Sasha.
Mixed Tag matches are usually always shite, I doubt this will be any different regardless of how talented Swann and Sasha are. The Scottish Supernova saying “Alisha Fuxxxxxxxxxxxxx” will save it for the Hoots though. I got Swann and Sasha winning this.
Good Brother Dan - Sasha and Richard
Trash - Rich Homie Swann & 10 Head
War - Young Homie Rich Swann & “I really can’t dance” Sasha Banks
Overlord - Rich Banks
Jonny Deez - Swann/Banks
Doc - Swann/Banks
GOAT Hoot - Rich Banks
Shu Tuppam - Sasha/Swann
Submission Match - Austin Aries vs. Neville (c) - Cruiserweight Championship
This is match three of the ongoing feud between The Orc King and Vegan Man, I honestly think there will be a fourth, whether on RAW, 205 Live or Great Balls of Fire, (gawd that ppv name is so horrid it’s must see). Neville has retained twice against Aries, yet he hasn’t beaten him cleanly in any of those contests. This being a submission match I really don’t see Aries tapping, possibly passing out maybe, but not flat out tapping. Taking 2 losses then being made to quit would kill any credibility Aries’ character has.
Neville did tap recently on RAW, so to see him tap again this Sunday could definitely happen. Submission matches to me... no one really goes over, it’s a bad match type unless you have the right wrestlers involved. At least this match stipulation makes sense, they both have solid submission finishers but aren’t known for being proficient at submissions as a whole. Most of the Hoots agree in order to freshen up a stagnant cruiserweight division Aries will get the W.
Good Brother Dan - Aries
Trash - A Double
War - Aries
Overlord - AA
Jonny Deez - Aries
Doc - Aries
GOAT Hoot - Aries
Shu Tuppam - Aries
Steel Cage Match - Sheamus & Cesaro vs. The Hardy Boyz (c) - Tag Team Championship
The last time these two teams faced Sheamus ended up knocking a tooth out of Brother Nero’s mouth. I wonder if this time one of Cesaro’s European uppercuts will knock out one of Matt’s teeths, maybe that will make them fully broken, one can only hope. I have no clue why this match is in a steel cage, is there going to be outside interference of some kind? I don’t understand, HELP!!! This just feels like WWE doing something just because they can, not like it changes the match much.
The majority of the match will be carried by Cesaro and Sheamus with hard hitting athleticism. Jeff will probably jump off the cage like it’s something new but it’s been done by every Tom Dick and Harry since Snuka. The Hardyz will get their spots in, but I see Sheasaro doing something dirty to pick up the win and become 2x Tag Champs. Most of the Hoots disagree, dummies!
Good Brother Dan - Hardyz
Trash - Hardy Boyz
War - Broken Neros
Overlord - House Hardy
Jonny Deez - Sheamus/Cesaro
Doc - Hardyz
GOAT Hoot - Hardyz
Shu Tuppam - DELETE! (Hardyz)
Kendo Stick on a Pole Match - Bayley vs. Alexa Bliss (c) - Women’s Championship
Does RAW Creative just throw shit at the wall and see what sticks when it comes to the Women’s division lately? Because this match slash storyline is a sad display of both of these wrestler’s talents. What RAW has done to the Bayley character should be classified as a freaking hate crime. Now Alexa is at risk of falling victim to their bad booking and poor scripting. Ugh.
I do think this match will be good though despite the horrible build and botched RAW segment. When it comes to the in ring work it will be top notch in my opinion. Alexa is a natural heel in the ring and Bayley a natural face, very good chemistry. The one saving grace from this may be Bayley going ape shit on Alexa with the Singapore Cane post match, Sandman style! I think it’s better to keep Bayley chasing the title, too early for her to become 2x Champ. Alexa wins.
Good Brother Dan - Alexa
Trash - Alexa Bliss
War - Bay-4-Lyfe (his waifu)
Overlord - Bliss
Jonny Deez - Alexa
Doc - Bliss
GOAT Hoot - Bliss
Shu Tuppam - Bayley
No Champion’s Advantage - The Miz vs. Dean Ambrose - Intercontinental Championship
Excuse me I’m a bit confused. This is Extreme Rules, right? Yet if Dean “I look like I smell like urine” Ambrose hits Miz with a chair he loses his championship? That’s just lunacy at it’s finest, I wonder if they have Trash on their creative team, this is right up his alley. “It’s a swerve hoot, they’ll never see it coming.” Yawp, they have Trash throwing shit at the walls in the back.
This will be nothing spectacular, Dean will hit his 5 moves of doom plus one. Miz will do what he does best, while playing off Maryse. It won’t be bad, it won’t be great, it will get the job done. The Hoots really really want Ambrose to lose, Miz is hot right now and could easily carry the brand. Miz wins via “Eddie”-esque shenanigans.
Good Brother Dan - Miz
Trash - Miz
War - Mizzle
Overlord - Miz
Jonny Deez - Miz
Doc - Miz
GOAT Hoot - The Miz
Shu Tuppam - Dean "Husbando" Ambrose
Extreme Rules Fatal 5-Way - Universal Championship #1 Contendership
Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Samoa Joe vs. Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns
Here we are the Main Event of the evening, honestly I like this match a lot from a competitive standpoint. I guess something stuck to the wall that didn’t smell so bad. Losing Braun Strauman hurt their already boring AF shows. I was literally watching just to see what craziness he would do next. So instead of Braun getting fed to Bork at Great Balls of Fire it will be one of these five visiting Suplex City, it will do. I just like who’s in the ring in general.
This match will be complete chaos, but I believe in a good way considering who’s involved. I see a lot of various cool spots, some hard hitting from Joe and Bray, who I’m intrigued to see in the ring together. It being a PPV we should get The Demon from Balor, watching him interact with Bray will also be interesting. The two big Samoan going toe to toe, you can’t tell me you don’t want to see that?! This is a very hard match to predict a winner for, The Hoots are pretty much split across the board, the favorite being Balor yet only Lady Hoot picked Samoa Joe. That would be a very good matchup, Samoa Joe vs. Brock Lesnar, the beautiful violence they would create. My pick is Bray Wyatt, mainly because he’s the perfect throwaway opponent. House of Horrors meets Great Balls of Fire!
Good Brother Dan - Balor
Trash - Finn Balor
War - Real Rock and Rolla
Overlord - Bray Wyatt
Jonny Deez - Roman
Doc - Finn
GOAT Hoot - Seth
Shu Tuppam - Samoa Joe
In closing I think Extreme Rules this Sunday will be as good as BackLash was a few weeks ago, which means not very good. Yet what do expect for 10 bucks a month, we're not paying 60 bucks for PPV events anymore. I know I damn sure wouldn't pay 60 bucks to see this, 10 definitely.